“I’m Abbie, I’m 28, and while I was recovering in hospital I decided to write my story so that I could look back and know I got through it. I always read other people’s experiences hoping to find someone’s just like mine. So, I hope now this can help someone else get through another day knowing there is a light at the end of that tunnel. If I did it, they can too!
Nine months ago… I had a stroke at 28 and here’s what happened.
I am sat on my hospital bed in a ward room that had 3 other ladies as patients. They were all in their late 80s early 90s.
Visitors walk past whispering, peering and wondering “Why is she in here? Surely she hasn’t had a stroke? Why is she on this ward with my mother?”
I feel as though I am in a different room sometimes; that the curtains are magical with sound-proofed doors.
I am embarrassed; embarrassed that they think I had an un-heathy lifestyle that landed me in here, when in fact I was just ‘normal’ with a bit of bad luck. I went to work, came home, I went for dinners with friends…..so my life was never an exciting tale but whose really is?
It all began during Easter bank holiday 2017 when I was out for dinner with the girls. I had just tucked into my dessert and realised that I had a slight ache at the back of my neck, on the left. I went dizzy and collapsed off the chair to my left. Then the sickness started, over and over…luckily I was positioned right next to an ice-bucket…..What a life saver!
I put my head between my legs to stop the spinning, but nothing helped. My throat felt as though it was closing in on me and panic began. We were all convinced that it was food poisoning and one of my friends booked me an emergency evening appointment with a GP.
We stumbled to the car but once I got in I felt OK. Then began the migraine symptoms that I’m so used to.
I have suffered from aura migraines from before I can even remember – tingly arm, numb tongue and face, loss of vision and speech are dangerous signs, but I guess I had just became so used to them.
When we met the GP I was diagnosed with a migraine and a tummy bug and prescribed some tablets to get me through, although when it came to swallow them my throat was in bits and I couldn’t get any liquid down. It seemed obvious to put this down to the constant sickness.
Home we went.
Finally, I was in bed and sleep would be the healer. A dark room and a cold flannel would make tomorrow a new day and I would feel fine again.
Sleeping was easy… but then the morning came.
I tried toast and ice lollies to fill my empty stomach but I couldn’t get anything down my throat. Why was it still so sore and why was it all such a struggle? Then the headache began. I couldn’t say it was the worst pain I had ever experienced, but it was a pain I will never forget and in a very specific area, just on the left side. It was as though a spark was shooting from my neck to forehead, over and over.
My fiancé Richard booked me another emergency appointment with my local GP knowing this didn’t match my usual migraine symptoms. Then began the longest 10 minutes of my life. We live in a three-storey house and I was on the top floor. The car seemed like a world away. I couldn’t tilt my head without being sick and I would collapse whenever I tried to stand. How was I going to get down these stairs? On my bum! I shuffled my way down the floors, constantly thinking “don’t be sick, you’re nearly there, don’t be sick you’re nearly there!”
Finally, I got to the front door where I was then carried to the car. I still remember the relief when the door closed. I was in.
Next challenge!….Getting out!
We pulled up to the doctors and I flung my arm around Richard’s neck. All I wanted to do was fall to the floor and crawl my way there. I shut my eyes, partly for embarrassment of who I would see while in my choice of mismatched PJs, but also because it was easier to have them closed than to try to take in and make sense of all my surroundings.
I was told to go to hospital. My eyes were not responding and I couldn’t place one foot in front of the other. In my head I did think that they would see me back out the door when we arrived. It’s surely just a migraine. What else could it be? When we arrived I remember asking “Do you think I could go in a wheelchair?” before thinking that it was a stupid comment as someone else would need one more than me. I’m only 28, but I just couldn’t walk!
Once in the assessment unit I was on the bed and wondering how long it would be until they sent me home. I was given anti sickness drugs (best thing in the world – I could move my head again!) and sent for a CT scan. The doctor mentioned that I would probably be in for the night. I even laughed to myself, thinking, “well that’s very dramatic!” But after the CT results I didn’t. There had been some changes to the left side of my brain. I was getting transferred to a different hospital who specializes in strokes. Huh?
That night I arrived on the stroke ward and everyone was buzzing around me and everything was checked. I hadn’t had fluids in a long time as I still couldn’t swallow. That’s when I was told I was suffering from Dysphagia; which I’d describe as a stroke symptom where your throat muscles are paralysed. A feeding tube was inserted through my nose to finally fill me up. But I can tell you it certainly wasn’t the flapjack that I’d craved for so long.
My left eye wouldn’t open. On one hand I thought It was just me being lazy and it was easier not to open it. On the other hand when it was open the double vision was unbearable! My speech was there but it was slurred and more for the fact I couldn’t swallow my own saliva….Who knew we produced so much?
After my MRI it was confirmed I’d had a spontaneous left vertebral artery dissection. The doctors couldn’t tell me the cause. I might have been born with it or I may have had a trauma but I may never know as I was perfectly fit.
At first I was unable to walk at all. I couldn’t read or watch anything. I wore an eye patch to make my eye work. I slept for the majority of my days. I was unable to even sip water and looking after my own daily needs were impossible.
It really was as though my brain had turned itself ‘off’ to my body and I had no control.
I remember one day swirling orange squash around my mouth for some flavour (I had to spit that out though) and it was the best feeling in the world. I was beaming from ear to ear!
15 Days after the stroke…
I’m now on my 15th day….and today I walked outside without a stick, up some stairs and I have been told I can start eating actual food.
While I’m sat on my bed I’m watching three other ladies go through their own recoveries. I can forgive their loved ones’ stares and whispers, when one is about to leave to go to a care home for her foreseeable future, one is fast asleep to the world and another is trying to remember who she and her husband are while he looks on at her longingly…
….9 months on
I can’t quite believe this was me. I now have a wonderful husband. I’m back at work. I’m driving. I have started a new college course. I am going to Miami and I am soon to become and aunt!
My advice to any stroke survivor would be to take it slow. Everyday you will see some sort of success. It could be as simple as opening the curtains! That is still a huge achievement that you were unable to do yesterday.
People’s reactions never really change when they find out what happened. They just don’t know what to say other than…”but you are so young!?” I have learnt this is ok. Until it happened to me I would never have known just how many strokes occur in younger people. It is now my turn to educate.
Let people help, live for now and know you are stronger than you think!”
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