Russ

Used to be life and soul of a party - all changed now.

I had my first and only stroke 20 years ago - aged 31 just before xmas - woke up - went to the bathroom - felt rough - collapsed - taken to A&E - paramedics thought I had the flu - woke up I think around 4 days later - didn't know who I was or where I was - totally incapacitated.

Told I had a massive stroke - my mum was seriously ill - my brother died from a brain tumour at the same time - I couldn't get any lower - I wanted to die.

Short term memory now is pathetic - back to work for years now physically almost back to normal - emotionally that's a different story. I didn't consider speaking to anybody - I always thought I was hard - now I'm like a blubbering baby change in my work circumstances now - I need help now - right now.

Off work at the moment - dodgy hip - time to take stock used to work with a great friend - have to work alone now now I want to talk - thankfully - DS is the main part in my life to talk - and I don't get judged - spout away and there's someone there to listen.

On my 2nd marriage - 2 more kids - 1 from previous wife my wife is understanding regarding to my situation but I always feel  that I'm a burden.

I'm  going to seek help for my emotions - should have done that long time ago.